Hello world!

2012.11.07

Life is tough.  There are many joys, but also deep sorrows.  They say we would not recognize valleys if we did not have the mountaintop experiences for comparison.  I am a Christian, so I have a faith and spiritual experience to know that God is always with me, but sometimes it seems like He has gone on vacation and does not care.  Phillip Yancey’s book, Disappointment with God, was something of a shock to me.  Maybe we can discuss that on this blog in more detail sometime.

But right now, I want to introduce myself and what I hope to do with this blog.  My alien spouse and I had two children.  Right now, I have a son and a daughter-in-law; a son-in-law and his new wife (a “daughter-in-law”); three grandchildren, four step grandchildren plus an inlaw, and a step great grandaughter.  The story is far more complicated than that, but we will leave the complications for later.  Obviously, one of our children is missing.  Our 35 year old daughter, Karin, died December 15, 2008, 101 days after learning she had kidney cancer which had metastasized.  She left a gaping hole in our hearts from which we will never recover.

I hold a Master of Science in Library Science.  When I wasn’t a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home wife during our empty nester years, I was a librarian – children’s, adult reference, school (all grade levels), and administrator.  After losing my mother and sorting through her papers, the genealogy bug ruthlessly took a chunk out of me.  My research uncovered phenomenal stories which must be told.  I honed my writing skills and, in 2008, was ready to seek an agent for my book about my great great grandfather’s Civil War experience, when Karin was diagnosed.  I would also like to write about her and publish some of her writings as well.  Two years ago, while buried in my writing, I learned my spouse was living a double life.  My concentration turned from writing to more desperate needs and extenuated griefs.

Losing my daughter and husband have raised many questions in my mind.  I would like to share these thoughts and ask for your ideas – to hear how you decipher life.

I am beginning this blog to develop, hopefully, some communication about life issues we all face.  Topics I am most likely to delve into are grieving, sufferings, living the Christian life, finding God, marriage and divorce, family, the Civil War, dogs, books, and probably other life issues we all face which may surface from time to time — such as today, the right to own guns is on my mind.

James 1:2-3 suggests we should be filled with joy when we have troubles.  Why joy?  That is such a ridiculous dichotomy that we should be happy about unhappiness.  Paul’s idea is that troubles exercise our faith as well as build the virtue of patience as we work through our problems.  Do you have thoughts on this craziness?  Please share with me.

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About 9awalsh

A genealogist and writer who has uncovered legacy stories which must be told. I also write a blog, Deciphering Life, trying to figure out why life becomes so tangled -- www.9awalsh.wordpress.com
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2 Responses to Hello world!

  1. Ruth Watts says:

    Briefly, on the subject of having joy in the midst of troubles. “Joy” is not the same as happiness. This joy is the assurance that God is in control and that He is “working all things for the good of those who love Him.” Rom 8:28 That doesn’t mean we FEEL happy about it all, in fact, we may not FEEL joy as an emotion while we struggle through.

    Looking back on the miserable failure of my own miserable marriage, the misery of working through it all, the all-consuming grief, regret, pain, anger, confusion, desperation, humiliation,
    hopelessness…I’ve experienced it all. From this perspective, I see where God was at work in my life to use these troubles for my good. I am NOT THE SAME person today. This does give me “joy” in the Lord, even though I would have preferred a different path. The path laid before me was the one I had to take to get to this place. I LOVE this place! My prayer is that these lessons, so difficult to learn, will see me thru the troubling times that are surely yet to come. And I believe God will meet me at the point of my need, as He has ever done.

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  2. 9awalsh says:

    You are right, Ruth. They are not the same. Happiness is a fleeting giddy feeling. Joy is a deeper, penetrating emotion. Though this anonymous quote is not scriptural, it does hold truth: “When God puts a tear in your eye, it’s because he wants to put a rainbow in your heart.”

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